Who’d a’ thought it? What a strange year. All those things we used to do, and the ways we used to do them have changed – if you can hear me clearly through the mask, then just nod. No nod, so I’ll speak up a bit and open my mouth to make sure I’m enunciating properly. It’s possible I’ll switch to “foreigner” mode and shout at you if I don’t feel I’m getting through. What’s the matter with you? Are you thick or something- oh really!

Have you decided who not to invite for Christmas this year? Have you been uninvited? Or, have you been deleted and don’t know it? Have you stopped mentioning the “c” word, just in case they think you’re angling for an invite, or you’re avoiding the uninvited conversation?

Which set of rules do you adhere to? Mixed bubbles. Groups of six, outdoors only, nobody from Liverpool (well you wouldn’t invite them anyway would you). Or, buy a live Turkey, kill it and have thirty for the funeral. Or is this your Christmas….