I cut down trees, I eat my lunch…

“I go to the lavattory [sic]

On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea”.

Lyrics from Monty Python, as you might recall. Having had the fallen apple tree to cut up and dispose of (including chopping for firewood), storm Arwyn, or Eustace, or whichever the third one was in February left us with this legacy – the sheer size of it caused us some surprise weighing in at a hundred feet or more in length with a diameter of over two feet (seventy cm or so).

“I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK
I sleep all night and I work all day”.

The Apple tree cut-up was just too convenient having fallen near the power source for my electric chain saw, but try using that whilst standing in the river even if the power cord and many extensions cables could be made to stretch that far. So a petrol chain saw was purchased with the expensive but thoroughly convenient pre-mixed ethanol alternative.

“I cut down trees, I skip and jump”

“I like to press wild flowers
I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars”.

“I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK”

“I sleep all night and I work all day I cut down trees”,

Using goggles and ear defenders as you would guess, I took all reasonable precautions and gradually the log store began to fill.

“I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear Papa” [credits to Monty Python – Ed.].

This photo was taken after I had cut up about a third of the tree.

I got to about a half before the sheer size for the tree started to make it too difficult for my little chain saw, which has been amazing, but at a 14″ bar it likes to take its time chewing through the wood, and cutting the tree into chunks also makes splitting harder work, and I risk laddering my tights!