First thing Saturday morning, and I’m pottering in the office; Sandie comes in to retrieve the home phone; oh! good, she’s phoning her mother to arrange Joan’s shopping.

She returns, clutching the phone to her body.  “Mother’s just farted – the longest and loudest and you’ve ever heard – it just went on and on, how embarrassing”.

Me – “What?”  Noticing the phone clutched in a lifeline grip, “did she answer the phone”? Stupid question, but what happened – did Joan say hello, did she put the phone down, confused.

Sandie – “no, but it just went on and on, I was so embarrassed”.

Me, utterly confused about how she heard the fart if Joan hadn’t answered the phone, or at least answered by an alternative greeting to “hello”.  My second thought was that it’s  been some time since Christmas Day, should we talk to the Guinness Book of Records about the average time food takes to go through the body.

From Sandie’s perspective, the thoughtscape was:  Must phone Mother, and so grabs the phone and wanders through the snug, when sees Mother donkey, and thinks – must tell Harry about what happened when saying good morning to the donks…….