A definite job at this time of year is gutter cleaning. Also known as truffling cleaning around here. A term I hadn’t come across before.

I discovered that the men who replaced some slates and removed the heating panels dislodged a joint directly at the apex of the porch, so a multiple (in-word- Ed,) ladder approach is called for.

Note to self. On ascending count the number of risers and make a note of the total. On descending, count the number of rungs and make a note of the number. Compare the two figures, and if the ascending number is the same as the descending value, then step off the ladder. If the two numbers vary then don’t step back onto terra firma because the terra isn’t firma and in its expected place. This results in a second or two of “oh s**t!”, and a decidedly empty and weightless feeling in the tummy. (B****y idiot – Ed.).